Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
