she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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