i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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