I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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