And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
