i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize