all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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