Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
