My liver just broke up with me...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
