How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
