I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
