Already got asked if we're dating
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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