I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
