bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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