I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
this hospital has no fireball
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
