he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
