you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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