I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
