Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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