I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
