How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
