We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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