we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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