Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Someone came in the potted fern
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
