Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
