dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
