thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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