she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
