He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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