Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
