Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
In other news, I just burned my penis
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
