Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
