Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize