I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
