Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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