I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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