Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
