But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
