Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
