Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
