Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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