I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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