with your own penis?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
