there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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