And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
