Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
