I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
