i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize