Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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