I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
