Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
