I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
