he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My life is pants optional.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
