i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i think i have two assholes
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
