he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
