the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
