I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
