his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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