I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
