Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
