just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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