im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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