I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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