do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
