i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
