4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
