hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
