Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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