i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
