the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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