literally had 100 drinks last night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
