so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love having hate sex.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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