Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
