Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize