I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
