Moan for me like Helen Keller
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
