so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
