have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
wow bdsm is so cute
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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